Marilyn Van Derbur took the burden of shame off of sexual abuse victims, she’s so truthful and clear. I think her story is amazing and her bravery to talk openly about the abuse of incest pioneered a movement of healing. Her story is truthful, cathartic, validating and full of hope.
If you’re a sexual abuse survivor
know that you did nothing to cause it.
you’re not a powerless victim.
There’s nothing wrong with you
and you couldn’t have stopped it.
You did the right thing because you survived.
You’re alive here for a reason.
You matter in this world.
You might not think so
but you’re very strong.
You’re a survivor
to a tribe of spiritual warriors
proud of who you are.
Your abuser should be ashamed, not you.
Your job now is to love yourself and heal this pain.
Have compassion for yourself
and know that we believe you.
Survivors often sabotage themselves with abusive relationships because they don’t think that they’re worthy of love; healthy relationships scare them because they feel self-disgusted and unloveable. They silently blame themselves for being abused. Many aren’t believed and are labeled crazy by their dysfunctional families. But survivors are resilient; they’re called survivors because they’re still alive, a majority are dead by suicide, drug addiction, or other kinds of self-harm. The best support you can offer a friend who tells you that they’ve been sexually abused is to believe them. Stand by them.